Politicians, Action Heroes, and Eighth-Graders
Arnold Schwarzenegger elected: politics as usual

By Kurt Poeltl
Opinions Editor

Repeat after me: Arnold Schwarzenegger is our governor.

Now you feel: a) amused, b) proud, c) nauseous, or d) despair. If you chose "all of the above" you accept the nature of politics better than most in the Bay Area, who are angry enough to move to Portland but most likely will settle on yoga.

KRT Campus/Bruce Chambers The new Governor and Maria Shriver's post-election celebration. With 70 percent of state revenues already budgeted, Arnold should have enough time left over to fulfill his mandate -- keeping us entertained.

Has the remainder of California lost it? As backward as the rest of the state seems right now, they weren't fooled by the mean-spirited Proposition 54.

Actually, when surveyed in the context of the past year, the 'Coming of Arnold' isn't inconceivable. From the voters perspective the recall was not so much about Schwarzengroper, as it was about Davis' mass unappeal.

Davis' re-election last year had its own sense of illegitimacy. In the primaries Davis spent millions of dollars attacking the moderate Republican Candidate Richard Riordan, in effect supporting the ultra-conservative, dweeb Bill Simon. If choosing one's own opponent isn't exploiting the electoral process, what is?

Of course, the recall carried its own subversion. Provided the opportunity, the Republican machine pounced. Their motives had little to do with democracy and everything to do with money and power.

Interest groups exercised their right to free expression by pumping $80 million dollars into various campaigns in less than nine weeks. Ironically, none of this influence buying went towards Larry Flynt's campaign, arguably, the only candidate who took a bullet protecting the First Amendment.

Nor was Bustamante a viable candidate. The Indian gaming lobby tainted his jackpot worse than the prison lobby locked up Davis' fate.

But to be fair to the dumbbell, Arnold was smart enough to recognize the two things that secured his victory. First, he didn't talk about the issues or get dragged into an unscripted debate. As the former mayor of Carmel once said, "A man's got to know his limitations."

The other thing Arnold understands is the world of big media. Politics is entertainment. Today's most prevalent medium, television, does not ask what it needs to do to keep the viewer informed, only watching.

Respected news anchor Tom Brokaw practically got to second-base with Arnold in their tour bus interview. For personal mental health reasons I didn't actually view it, but I understand it went something like this, 'What are your plans for California's deficit?'

Arnold, 'Tom when I am governor, I'm going to represent all the people of California. By the way, I was just telling Jay Leno how much my wife Maria, you know - a Kennedy, has always enjoyed working

here at NBC.'

Brokaw, 'Well, thank you Arnold, it's about time we had some leadership in California.'

To call Arnold an outsider is a misnomer at best. What would've been astonishing is if we elected the polar opposite of Arnold ­ a voting Asian-American woman living in poverty but who's never bench-pressed twins. He is the quintessential politician. Arnold has always held an admiration of power for its own sake, while offering only contempt for those with a sense of civic duty. It would seem self-worship and self-gratification goes hand in hand with successful campaigning.

Politics is no place for grown-ups, as witnessed in the U.S. House of Representatives July 18, 2003. California's own Fremont Rep. Pete Stark (D) after being advised to "shut up" by the opposition, most eloquently conveyed just how he felt about his colleague, Rep. Scott McInnes, R-Colo., "Oh, you think you are big enough to make me. You little wimp," Stark continued, "I said come over here and make me. I dare you. You are a little fruitcake. You are a little fruitcake. I said you are a fruitcake." Then things became somewhat undignified.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is our governor and he should fit right in. Still feel queasy?